I can't believe I'm having a diary at 21 and not before lmao
Sorry the text is a bit clustered I'll fix it one day


Sorry the site is on pause for the moment, I didn't think school would take so much time
Glossary High School (Graphic Design then Photography) (I was 17 & 18 years old then 19 & 20 years old)
University for a Bachelor of Arts (B.A.) (2022-202?)


Vanessa: Roommate I met in High School (Photo) She has green hair, well, it's blue, but she originally wanted it green, the color washed up into blue. We're born exactly 1 year and 1 day apart & we like to say that's why we have the same braincell together. Gosh how many times did we say the same thing at the same time ? In my workroom.
Lola: Roommate I met in High School (Photo) She has pink hair. She's really sweet and shy, She's making her own music, they have a Cavetown vibe. In my workroom
Danaë: girl I met in High School (Photo) She's fun and likes to keep it real, in my workroom


Romane: Was a First year with me. Lives near Uni. She's cool, I like her.
Celeste: First year with me. Lives near Uni. She's really fun ! I think we're friends. She's someone that reminds me of a highschool(Photo) friend that almost went to University with us, but dropped out for a job.. She's outgoing and friendly, she's told me that in her friend group, she'd often stay quiet, not out of shyness, but because she has nothing to say? I quite relate to that. Already knew people inside Uni before getting in
*Tom: Was a First year with me. Lives near Uni. He's really fun ! I think we're friends. He either is or acts like an idiot. OMG He's the kind of person I'd affectionately call a dork ! He's funny, friendly and outgoing And you can clearly see when he cares about someone. Handsome guy, we jokingly flirted on some occasions lol, but I think he's straight, just comfortable with who he is. He's dating a girl (and she seems really sweet, They look nice together). Already knew people inside Uni before getting in
*Alessio: First year with me, in my workroom. He's a chill dude, he's also in a band. I think we're friends. He's on Tinder but I think he's straight. We jokingly flirted on some occasions, he likes to play-fight with Vanessa but we know it's all joke.
Leïla: First year with me. She's really fun ! We've bitched on some people with her and Vanessa sometimes. She has her car permit !! Good for her :)
*/Luca: First year with me. He's so weird in a good way. Said he's bi I think (or that he would be ok to experiment, should the occasion arise.) He's fun. Already knew people inside Uni before getting in(at least I think so, There may be a time where I've heard someone say he knew nobody, but quickly made friends with people (Céleste, Vivo)) Often changes his hairstyle
Kenzo: Was a First year with me, Now he's in engraving. Lives near Uni. You know that ONE student in every class that's really annoying and talks too much ? That's him. But he's still a cool guy to hang out with
Marion: First year with me. At first I thought she would be mean or distant, but once you get to know her she's really fun, I don't know her yet tho, but she's posted funny things on her Insta. She's got friends in the Uni

*/Remy: 2nd year. He's chill, Always smiling and cool to speak with. He said he really liked hanging out with the first years, he finds us friendly. He failed his exam in december so now he's going to another course, we're sad for him. Angele: 2nd year. she's friendly, I like talking to her.
Vivo: Third year Lives near Uni. Already knew Céleste & Tom. She and her Twin sister Chimene are fashionable and I like how they use makeup. Vivo SEEMS distant but I think it's me being paranoiac 'cuz I'd like to be friends with her so bad ! she's confidant in herself. Céleste told me in secret that she thinks I'm cool :)
Chimene: Third year Lives near Uni. Already knew Céleste & Tom. She's less outgoing than Vivo, I believe. At least, I've interacted (so far) Only once with her, and it was already mid-october

Brandon: Master one, in my workroom. He was in Numerical Art before. Chill guy, I haven't talked to him that much
Pierre: Master one, in my workroom. Lives near Uni. Talks a lot but it's bearable, he's been hanging with 3 girls in a week at some point so that confused me. Friendly and okay to help someone
Diego: Master 2 I've seen some of his work and it's great, I got to speak with him on one or two occassions, he's nice to talk to

Other people in school

*Simon: A cool person I've meet on some occasion near the school They've said they're not a student but often comes by anyway, they wore makeup the first time I met them and I was awed (?)
C-word: VAnessa's boyfriend's ex. She's what I like to think "a filler bad character to spice up the Uni Arc of our lives". we used to have another person we'd call c-word to bitch on in High School but if we knew we'd have to deal with today's C-word we would have been (a bit) nicer with her.
Talia: The only girl in Numerical Art in 1st year, to be fair they're only 5 student in Num Art in 1st year. I like her and her fashion style.
Jasmine: I think she's in Theatre ? I sometime see her in the school's courtyard but I've more interacted with her in the school's parties. I like her

*Louis: Lives near Uni I think. He's friends with Tom, Céleste & Vivo. He's in Music but is also in Numerical Art, idk how that work. I met him when I went to Num Art's exams, it was open to the public and I considered going there. my godfather(?). He's quiet. I like his face and his softboy attidude.
*/Louis2: That's right there are 2 Louis in this. He's a First year in Numerical Art. He's very tall jpp. He's friends with Alessio
*/Clement: Is in Numerical Art in 2nd or 3rd year. I met in at the same time as Lo. He's 18 I think ? he's kinda weird but uhhh idk I have to speak to him more to be sure
*/Yolande: Finally someone who's not straight in this ART school. May do drag ? I really like how they're sexually confident with themself. They're into black leather, japanese fashion uhh that sort of things, idk how to explain it I wasn't paying much attention but they've got their own thing going on. Said some nice things about me :) Wait they're not even in our school, They're in their last year of High school >:O How old are they again ? 20 ??

Internet Friends

Pop off sis 💅

Max Louis Quick Saku Piic Bri Miss Phila Creu Strau Tay Alm I'll to them later

Super Trop Bien: Discord server of Roz

Roz: Girl I know from back when Google + was a thing, she makes interesting music and even once made an ARG that got reviewed from a french youtuber we both like, Good for her !
She made a discord server full of people she likes, I think we're all queer in there, I'm not often there I still enjoy spending time with them.
There's a lot of dumb memes being made too. The latest meme is about elephant boobs, I'm not going to put the pic here, it's just an unedited pic of an elephant with big boobs.
They also made a song about it:
Ixal: Online BFF, God I've known her for so long, I think 2014 ??? We've met on skype. ON SKYPE ! okay so, there was this girl that had a creepypasta youtube channel (I was 13), to celebrate having 100 subscriber, she organised a skype meeting, I had the good idea of joining in and there I met Ixal, She's an illustrator and I LOVE her designs, like she's actually the reason I draw (when I do draw), 1 or 2 years after Skype stopped being popular, I found her again on Google + of all places, there I met some people that I still write to sometimes, But Roz and Ixal are really the only people that I still have vocals with. Cam: A person on the server That I really like
Is it weird to cry when making a spotify playlist of songs that make me think of someone ?
Specifically crying imagining me and someone living what the songs are saying ? Yes ? okay cool, I may not be aro after all..
God of course I'm crying over SONGS
This is the first time I cry thinking about being with someone.. It's usually about ending up alone and making bad choices ahah, whoops

Hi, sorry I know, it's been two months since last update. School, you know, and I didn't feel like doing this.
I keep forgetting stuff that happens that I could write here. I told myself I should write them, but I still haven't done that.

So we (Pic, Strau & I) did go to a restaurant, at Pic's splace

The restaurant

It was really good. It's a place where instead of having one big meal, you can have several smalls meals, I loved most of them.
They kept giving us more and more food although we were starting to not be hungry anymore.
Oh also there were a problem with the booking if I remember well, Pic had booked, but the restaurant computer said there were no reservation, but we still got a table, just less time to eat, sooo it was still good
We talked about being an introvert or extrovert and other things I don't remember;
Then we went to a bar, we were seated right next to a piano so Strau really wanted to play it lol. I don't really remember what we talked about besides Strau being Polyamorus, his and Pic's lovelife, me having none, Pic being Bi and I gay and maybe aromantic, although I would love to love someone, it just never happened yet (I hope it'll happen someday)

Mini golf is finally over, I'm so glad it's finally over, I don't have to see the classmates again, we got it done just in time for the open day (?)
OF COURSE it broke that day, slayyy

This is in may

Pic, Strau & I are at Strau's place, this time we're eating with Strau's barbecue, it wwasn't sunny outside but thankfully it didn't rain.
We made some home made Mojito, Pic brought some white wine and Strau had beer.
At some point Strau went to the bathroom, he said afterwards that he threw up.
Neither Pic or I had noticed that he was drunk, but in hindsight, Strau had drank 4 beers and some mojito without mush food to cut the alcohol.
We ate some muchroom filled with Boursin cheese. (It was good so I tried redoing it at home some time later(it's not the first time I redo Strau's cooking))
We talked about our lovelife again, while Strau was in the bathroom, I may or may not have told Pic I had a thing for him.
Then we talked about our other friends in our discord server. Pic told us to be careful about some of them, especially Max, If he doesn't like someone, he tends to just, make a new discord server without them in it, so we end up with at least 6 different servers with almost the same people...
Then At 1 FREAKING AM Pic returned home BY CAR. At first Strau and I stayed awake to wait for her to send a message saying she's home, but then we had fun doing dumb tierlists about disney films I never saw.
I stayed a full day at his home instead of leaving in the afternoon, we watched Turning Red and Big Hero 6. I went home the next day

I think like one week later we went to Pic's place, This time because one of her friends visited her and Pic invited Strau and I to meet her.
She's fun and nice to talk to !
I had some stress coming for this one, at the begining of the day I had a drawing exam in the morning and I took the train some hours later to make it in time.
This time we ate a raclette. We watched the newest Scream movie. We talked about how we sort of know Pic's friend since she's also an internet person.
We also talked about the twitch streamer we all know each other from is not that great of a person soo uhh, don't meet your idols i guess
This time we made a spotify playlist that uhh the mix spotify playlist ? I think.

They still haven't come to my place, I konw it's not a big deal, but like, I would like them to come see me.. idk, but like, I also don't want to come this this tiny place where I know they have nowhere to sleep, And I know Pic is kind of claustrophobic so my appartment is a big no-no for her, hopefully by september, The new appartment'll be big enough.

The school's student council organised a little ball. I always wanted to go to one, I missed three opportunities for it thanks to covid SO I DID NOT MISS THIS, And this time I decided to SLAY


Exams starts next week, well It's the oral presentation of our work but uhhh, yeah it's an exam.

Tay is coming back in Belgium to see Strau at the end of May, so in a week and a half, we said we (Strau, Tay, Pic & I) could see each other before Pic goes to France, so there's a 4 day window (?) where all of us are in Belgium
The only problem is that I have an exam right in the middle of it, so hopefully I'll still be able to do both, like I did for the raclette.



GUYS My friend (one of now & to-be classmate) invited us to their house after coming home from Italy (I think)
and we're going to have a sleep over !! I'm so excited ! Lezgong !
also guess what. That's right, another all nighter, but this time I've started uptading the site at 9pm, so now I'm going to bed at "only" 7am
Progress !


Today I have a half escuse for having made another all nighter, my town had its folkloric party-day-idk,
there were fireworks at midnight, there were food stands, attractions(nice), my cousin was a member of a concert that night but we kept making fun of the singer lead(?) because she's not great irl
I got to see some family I have had yet to meet,
Family I haven't see in years and see some of my friends again, I haven't seen them since they went abroad in June, it was nice to see them.
I even saw a classmate from singing class ahah


Hehe woops, I thought I'd be back a few days later, not the whole month,
I just got into the summer vacations vibes (a lot of things to do and yet doing nothing and cry) You know how it is.

I've been having some doubts about being a guy,
Do I like when people call me by her or do I just find it funny ?
Do I like feminine clothes or are the ones made for men just boring ?
so uh yeah, I'm confused, I know those two things up there is kind of light confusion, but I just try not to think about my identity too much, idk why,I guess I'm scared ?
I've put the nonbinary button in the sidebar in the meantime, because if I'm not sure I'm cis, then I'm not, right ??


I've pulled an all nighter again it is 7:30 Am now, I'll deal with CSS later, Goodnight



Hello o/ I'm so sorry I haven't been active in 10 days (I think) I had to prepare for my entry in a new school lol
We had to send things like a portfolio & Resume
And I had to move into my dorm with two friends last tuesday after getting the keys the day before

My desk
I just moved in !!!!

Today was the first day of our entrance exams (?), we got to meet the other potential students, out of 18, 14 showed up, there's me and my 3 friends; Two cute guys (one looks like a cowboy omg); 4 girls who look really cool ! A seemingly couple (???) And two other people. we had fun, we had to present an artist (I chose Paloma, a drag french queen) then make an exercise where we had to "play with space" using three proposed items.
Everyone is great, they're almost all fun and we hit it off almost instantly, which is rare sinc we're shy but I guess it's easier when you're all artists lol, I hope I become friends with, at least get on well, and that we're enlisted for the 3 next years


Finally did a gallery
I've been working on it for 12 hours, :)
Ok I'll admit I've been disctracted an hour or two, but still, omg, it's because there's javascript again
But this time I did NOT give up
I should have though lol it's 2pm, I don't know if I'll take an all nighter (all dayer ?) or if it'll be okay to take a nap

Sorry for not updating for a while, I had to prepare one entrance exam for my next school.
I did everything last minute of course, but it's been in the corner of my mind for a bit.
Among things, I had to make a portfolio, so I put some photography pics and drawings, I'm taking advantage of that to finally make a gallery


Guess what ? I gave up the Iframe, Copy/paste the header code it is.. for now !
Also I'm going to bed at 6am tonight;earliest since the start of June


The active class in an Iframe is driving me crazy OMG! Why is it so hard ?!!
What the FUCK is jQuery ??? There's so many way to script this and none of it work !
In every results I've seen, Only one person needed help with "an active class in an Iframe header" which is exactly what I need,
FUCK THIS I'm going to bed, I'll look again later
I'll abandon one or the other if I can't find the solution


It was my Birthday some days ago
And with that a friend of mine invited me to go get some drinks tonight, well I thought so.
He immediatly told me that he asked me because he was bored & it turns out he thought my birthday was on the 10th..
I was born on the 9th..
But it's fine ! Totally fine ! And my parents gave me 100€ as gift for the night. Good thing I only kept 80 of it and spent 20 already because when I got to my friend's home I lost everything
I always lose money when I hang out with him somehow, really I should be used to it by now, but I have a weird relationship with my funds since I got to have lunchmoney (I would often not eat lunch because it meant having more cash)
We're not poor, but, you know, It doesn't hurt to spare and get ready for later
I was supposed to sleep in his couch but I just felt too bad, so I waited until 6am when buses start to work to go home, without waking my friend
I didn't tell my parents I lost more than half of what they gave me..


So I got some thinking and I decided I just won't care what my gender is, I'm enby but I don't mind being seen as a guy. I don't really help with that lol I'm too lazy to shave despite hating having facial hair (I made that fun by having a curled mustache lmao).

Friend sleepover: 01/08/22 - 03/08/22

Day 1

I made my bag for the sleepover and finished preparing minutes before going out, I said goodbye to mom and went to the bus stop
It is 13:35 and the bus comes at 13:39.. I'm half certain I'll miss it so I run to make it in time
So I arrive, someone tells me that the bus won't come here, I'll have to go to the next one, ughhh okay. I assume it's because of road work or whatever
Thankfully, There's another bus that comes at 14:08, The train leaves at 14:23, There's no way I'd make it in time but there's some hope, I send a quick text to one of the girls, the one I'm supposed to take the train with, and tell her I may not make it in time
It is now 14:48 and the 5th scheduled bus is finally here a few minutes late, I'm scared that the nice old lady I talked to while waiting misses it since she went to buy some cigs but it's ok, someone told the driver to wait for her
I leave the train at 16h-ish, My friends waited for me.
we get to her house and realise we haven't planned what to do lol
I showed this website as an idea, they said they liked it
When her father arrives, because her parents came back from Italy too, which wasn't planned, he asked me if I wanted him to cut my sideburns (Just tell me I don't look like I can shave asshole).
Of course I'm too polite to say no, and he took advantage of it to cut some hair too...
we ate some pizza and went to explore her old school
We had fun, we couldn't get inside buildingS (plurals ! the place was freaking huge, the size of a small village for a school) but we got to hang around in the tennis court, we were supposed to get home before dark but we had so much fun beings dumbasses. I got stuck stargazing for a minute but the light pollution of the city hid most all but a few stars
Her dad made a scene about how her room was dusty despite the fact that they were gone for 3 weeks, she tidied up the day before we came and that OF COURSE IT'S GOING TO BE DUSTY BEHIND THE FURNITURE STOP VACUUMING OMG !!
Anyway after that we changed to sleep, put mattresses down, played some Tomodachi Life on 3DS, until the owner of it went to sleep, and whisper-laughed until 5am

Day 2

We(I) woke up at 10am, I'm not used to getting up right after waking up, so I was still tired after eating breakfast
one of the girls put some makeup on me, it felt nice, then she tied my hair in two tails like on tiktok, that was fun
we went to a park after buying a cake and drinks, there were no reason to eat a cake despite the friend group activity aesthetic, but there's no need for a reason to eat cake, we still said that it's to celebrate 2 of our coming birthday since we doubt we'll see each other before next month.
we get home and see her mom. We went to the pool, I usually get self-conscious about showing my back and wear a shirt to hide but it was too hot and I was too lazy to deal with a wet shirt
the father proposed to drive us to some fastfood while he goes to the gym, we said yes and then walked down another park and some streets. There's a mall that doesn't close its doors when it's closed apparently so we explored it, we were alone, the vibes of being alone in an otherwise crowded place is nice actually, at least when it's still lit.
Back home we played some Tomodachi Life again until the girl went to sleep. This time we watched the 2 first Twilight movies and kept making fun of it
"Donne moi ton attrape-rêve" "Bella ! Where the hell have you BEEN loca ?" "Bella you stink !" "so which one is the worst, a 109 guy dating a 17 years old girl, watching a stranger sleep at night in their room, "age is just a number" in a teenager movie or wanting to bang a dead guy ?"
we went to sleep at 6am

Day 3

we(I) woke up at 10 am, It felt like i was stinking so I immediatly went to wash up, we played some Wii before going to the train station, of course ours was late. I had a fun time at the sleepover, I'm really happy all 4 of us are friends and get to spend time together for fun before having to deal with moving in an appartment for school next month, aaah how stressful it's going to be


It's 10am, I spent ALL NIGHT rewriting the misc's pages and putting the right image, I gave up halfway in random,
I'm supposed to be at my friend's in 5 hours jpp, I still haven't done my bag



The school made a little party after celebrating the graduates of 2020 & 2021, Noémie invited me to stay (well she told Vanessa, Lola and I that that was going on) and that they were going to go buy some alcohol.
I stayed with her and Vanessa & Lola went home

Alcool mentions

Anyways we bought alcohol, I got a Porto, the graduation ceremony (I think it was that) lasted about 30 min,
then some students dj-ed and the cafetaria offered free uhhh something (I'm going to say cheap champagne) until 21:30.
Luca, Romenie and Pierre, some older years and their friends were there too.
Then we (Luca, Celeste & I) went to Celeste's place and it's even closer to the school than we are, like, it's literally around the corner.

I smoked a little, I wasn't pressured to. I didn't feel anything at first but
Idk if it was that, dancing a lot, Drinking a bit much, her place being hot, or all of the above, but I uhhh yeah, toilets
They were nice, telling me I was brave (Ok ???? wtf ? How am I brave there Idk)
I kept saying sorry tho, which is something I've already said before when I'm at that point of drunk sooo patterns ? lol
Celeste offered me a bed, I quickly texted Vanessa I was going to sleep at Celeste's place
other people came later but I was too sick (?) to care. other people crashed there I think

When I woke up it was 6:30 and I thought Celeste was going to wake up soon, but at 7:15 I decided to get up, put my coat on & went home.
I showered and talked with the girls, asking me how it went and being surprised I was already home, expecting to see me at school
They ate MacDonalds... without ME !! OMG !! they said they were going to eat ravioli !! I got karmated lol
I didn't see Luca, Romane nor Celeste at school, them beings in different groups than me today but I guess they were too hungover to come
Also when a 2nd year saw me (Eve) she asked if I was okay, I said yes but now I know she and Celeste are roommates
UGHHHH I felt a little like a loser at the moment, I really want to be friends with Eve but I don't want her to think I'm not worth it ??? (idk she just look cool and fun( and a little bitchy, I don't want to be her ennemy))
But it has been fun, aside from that, I had fun, I also told Celeste I'm crushing on Louis at some point, hopefully she forgot about it ahah
I only told my parents that there was a party, and I drank a little.


Nothing much today despite new homework: 10 photo and 26 draw/pics/video/sounds or sculptures for december
Alessio and I flirted a bit on the class messenger


Luca isn't going to our room I heard it wrong, but someone else is (1st year girl(Ina(I should make a glossary)))
We made our first artistic excercice today, this morning we had to make the silhouette of a nude model with scissors and newspapers
I just so happen to "know" this model (I followed her on Insta, thinking she's also a photograph student in our previous school, but it was just pics in which she posed) so, in a break, we had a small talk, it was nice :)
In the afternoon, we had to make a scene with our shoes; the shoes suggested the rest of the bodies.
I was with Lola, Alessio and a 2nd year, we had the idea of making a murder scene and a uhhhh suggestive scene loll, at some point we needed to show the other what the suggestive scene was so Al and I recreated the scene

Pierre invited Vanessa, Lola, Alessio and I to a bbq in his place, Al couldn't make it but we still went, uhhh we didn't stay long ahah.
We barely knew anyone, only Pierre, Romane, the guy in our room that doesn't talk (he's in his 4th year, master one (M1)) and the girl that stopped Arts to be in Medecine, we didn't even talk with her :c ; the rest were friends or flatmates of P; the food was ok the potato salad was good, I don't usually like cold meal but it was good
The place is in the total opposite of us in the city, so it's a 10-15min walk, we said goodnight at 22


Ok so our friend that's in another class (god I should really look up what the word is) is dropping out because she may have gotten into a job as a tattoo artist and I'm really happy for her :)
Lessons are going ok, we're finally having some ahah. We're in the 4 groups but thankfully it's just that; not the groups within groups like I've said before, I guess that'll only be for Fridays
Also I'm going bonkers, we finish everyday at 17:30. It's a GREAT thing that we took an appartment that next to the place, and not in another city
There's already a teacher we don't like lmao, we found the school's meme insta page and there's some about that teach' being uhhh hard to like
I'm seeing Louis everyday, like EVERYDAY, how's that possible ? He's not in Visual Arts but in Music but he's taken a side course (is it that word ?) in Numerical Arts, that's on the 3rd floor, I'm on the 1st floor. He's in some of our lessons too ???? what ?? He's a 3rd year ??? But he's going in 1st years lessons ??? okay. Oh and he's friends with a lot of students in my course, maybe that's why I see him often
Romane liked my outfit, oh and another 1st year guy (Luca) is going in our room/class because he's blocking the way in another room. So there's 8/13 of 1st years at the same place lol


Ahah guess what. I was really tired when I woke up. Not because of yesterday but I was on my phone until 2am. So as the Art Student Cliché™ I got a coffee at the cafeteria and went to the auditorium Today we learned that every friday everyday first year in Visual Arts were going to work together (cool) in groups (not cool)
We're put in 4 groups of 25 so that 4 classes can be taken. But then we were regrouped in 5 groups of 5, with each student from a different class.
we're told that every year, the first year will have a project to realise for the Open day, this year is a minigolf. Sounds fun
I was excited to see who I'd be with, a lot of student seemed nice and had a nice style but I got paired with uhhhh people I wouldn't talk to in another context, guess that's why the direction made that choice lol
We had to make 3 project ideas all day and then present it at the end, the teachers would choose which idea we'd take.
God.. my group was boring, I don't like it. And apparently it'll be that group all year
Two of them are okay, we wouldn't talk in normal settings but they're ok, the third barely talk (that's rich coming from me but come on) and the fourth talked too much to say nothing
We ended up with a tarology theme, well it was our(my) only idea that we worked on, thankfully no one else thought about it, "dreams" "society's problems" "ecology" & "optical illusions" were up often
In hindsight, my group isn't the worst. At least they're not mean (yet to be seen) and I'm not with Vanessa's boyfriend's ex, she's here, and she's problematic
Talk about a twist, I joked about being in a new season with new characters but like, we have a villain now


Today we had to move furnitures into the rooms.
We also decided who was going into what room, so I'm with my 3 three friends (Vanessa, Lola and Danaë) Romane, Pierre, another first year guy (Alessio) and a master one I think
Also I swear to god, if we finish school everyday at 17:30, I'll go bonkers

Okay so right after finishing writing this I looked at my phone and saw that Celeste texted me inviting us to a bar at 10PM the same day.
Vanessa & Lola were hesitant but were excited about being invited to something,
we went there and chatted a bit, another firts year girl (Leïla) saw us and said hey, she was with friends of hers and they told her my mustache looked cool
Louis was also here at some point :)
We dressed up for the occasion but we were going to be tired if we went home too late, so my roommates went home, I stayed an hour more and went too


So turns out not all of us are here, someone got into another class and another totally changed from arts to medecine
Every first year were introduced to the school with a 4 hour long monologue from the headmaster, so that was fun.
We're 100 students in First year in Visual arts, well the auditorium can sit 100 people. I guess that's why they told us that we were a lot this year and some people could be not taken.
At midday in our lunch break we met a student, idk what class he is but he looks really cool (Simon) After that my class was introduced to every student in every year (5 years) of our division (is that the word?) with every class, there are 28-30 people, which is one of the biggest amount in Visual Arts. The teacher asked the student how we could set up the rooms, we were set into groups, but as the first years are new we had no idea of what to say, I didn't say one word lmao

someone who gratuated was celebrated so I stayed a little after the end of the school day (17:30 omg), then someone I was talking to invited me to go with them to the cafe/bar in front of the school (which uhh, kinda sus btw (the bar in front of an university, not me getting invited))), I spoke with a third year, a new first year that has to make her entrance exam, 2 two years, the master one(Di) I was grouped with, he jokly said I spoke more at that moment than in school lol, and a student I don't know which year he is.
At some point The master one told everyone was invited to someone's birthday party. I went with the 3rd year (Pierre), the new 1st year (Romane)and the girl from the seemingly couple (Celeste)(The guy is Tom) (I now don't think they're a couple, just close friends, also they know a lot of the student from our division so that's cool).
We had fun ! I was scared but it went fine ! very fine, maybe a bit too fine ahah, we saw the birthday girl for like 30 seconds but I saw Simon and a guy (Louis) I met from the time I hesitated to go to another division and went to see Numeric Arts's firsts year exams (the public could go see it) before I chose to go to IDM (uhhhh, basically it's called "Image dans le milieu", we make art installations, we use photography, sounds, videos, 3D materials, uhhhh yeah.) HE RECOGNIZED ME !!! OMG.

Alcool mentions Celeste brought some white wine that she And I drank, I had already drunk some at the graduation party and a cocktail at the bar, so I got a little drunk but it was ok, it didn't go too far don't worry. Anyway I smoked a cigarette whoops also I discovered that beer doesn't make me gag when I"m already tipsy. ANYWAYS I got to talk with some people there too it was fun, I went home at 22:30


All of us ! all 14 of us are in !!! omgggg I'm so happy !!


So the site has reached 10k views That's great ! I'm so happy ! I've made a thing for the occasion lol


There was a huge spider on the wall.
Lola had already been gone to their parent's, thankfully.
Vanessa and I had started watching Ghost Whisperer to relax after our exams, finally having some time to ourself before going back home on monday 6th, until midnight. But when I went to the bathroom at 2am and then took a drink in the living room, I saw it, in the middle of the wall, above the posters we bought not even a week before. I had awaken my friend or they weren't asleep either because they asked what I was doing and they heard me panic, causing them to see what's going on.
The 3 of us are huge cowards when it comes to take care of them but it's usually me or my still here friend that do it. But they weren't THAT big and they didn't move.

we barricaded ourself in her bedroom and resumed watching our show 'till 6am.
We panicked and went outside in PYJAMAS AT 6AM to search for an open store to buy pesticide but to no avail.
When we got back it wasn't on the wall anymore, no idea of where it could be
So we went to sleep with a locked door on the bedrooms.
By the time it was 4pm, we had bought pesticide, sprayed it all over the house, took stuff and took the train to go home, never mind the day of rest that was cut off


So our entrance exams are over, yesterday we had to show autoportraits, that night we (me and my roommates) watched the third Twilight movie.
Today we had a small talk with three teachers. We'll get to know if we're taken on the 9th


just school

Gooood, I don't have time to do anything, we have too much homework ! Some of them are nice to do but it gets dragged on and end up being poorly made in the end.
There's never a day where I go to bed before midnight an I'm too tired in the morning to dress up into something I like.
Some teachers are also getting annoying with time but phew, it'll be okay, I think they overwhelming us on purpose to test us and it'll be easier as time goes on. I hope so


I went with Alessio, Louis2 and Talia and other people to the park for lunch break, it was nice even tho C-word was there.

In the evening, Celeste asked me if I wanted to go to her place with Luca since we finished school a little earlier.
We played that Pirate of the caribbean's dice game then some truth or dare.
Since we can't come up with things we stayed with truths, Among things: They asked how many times I did it and I answered I was still a virgin blah blah blah, I had a girlfriend in Freshman year (???), even tho I knew I like boys blah blah blah.
Luca said he's bi, if i remember correctly, and Celeste said some other people she knew thought I was cool.

Tom called Celeste, saying someone invited us to their place uhhhhh how did it go then ??? Sorry It's 1am and I don't remember everything.
Tom, EVe and a friend of hers came, then we went to the someone's place, Celeste got into trouble with some men at some point but we're okay. Louis and other people I've seen but don't know their names were there.
I told myself to go home at 11pm so I didn't stay long. They were being a bit loud anyway.
Before getting out Celeste asked me to text her when I get home, being worried to stumble upon the troublesome men, so we exchanged our number.
I got home safe :)


The school offered the students to spends the evening at the bar across the street at 8PM on a thursday.
Since I don't live far during the week, I decided to go. Vanessa almost came but she changed her mind after she realized her boyfriend's ex would be there.
She dared me to put on a skirt, guess what, I wore a skirt, and High heels cuz why not ?

There were a few people I know, mostly from my class but my cousin was there, I keep forgetting he's also at the school and in the student council, he sais I looked cool or something, I forgot, but it was a positive comment.

Somehow. Fate has decided to bring back a classmate back from elementary school, a guy I haven't seen IN 9 YEARS, Right on the day I dress up in an unusal outfit. GREAT. Also small world, he knows Danaë's cousin who's in my Uni, we had a little awkward chat. I wonder if I'll see him again.
A lot of people came to me saying that they liked my outfit, that I should go to school like that, I seem more myself that way and uhhh It's something I'm not going to unpack right now, but,.. yeah ok that would be nice.

Louis2 came and played with my (handlebar ?)mustache, saying he would have loved to have one like that too.
I talked with Clement(a student in Numeric Art), he said he thought I was a teacher when I went to see his exam last year, and still thought that, and that I'm 25. I also thought he was 23, but he's 18. so uhh mmh.
At some point the student council told the first year to come play a little game, we were given a word and had to find someone in another Division than us with another letter, and make up a little story. That someone would become our godfather/godmother, and we would get free beer. I ended up with Louis :)
At some point a dj came, I think it was the same guy than the last time, and Luca, Tom, Celeste, some other people and I danced. Later it was just Luca and I dancing and we hugged-danced (???), well you know those slow dancing moves or something. Then he leaned into me and I almost, ALMOST went to kiss him, but I got scared of myself and that he would regret it, considering he's drunk, so we just hugged. (He told me a week later that he didn't remember dancing at all anyway, like I assumed)

Tom said that I looked pretty :)
Tom, his girlfriend and Angele offered to walk me home, it was midnight and I was in a skirt. I said yes.


03/11/22 Photography museum

I went to a photography museum for Christophe's work, we have to visit a museum among things and write about it.
The museum was nice, there's a section that's an introduction to photography for children.
It also has an history section and has a large collection of how shooting came to be.
they were presenting three photographs in their non-permanent sections (?) One about a village in Mexico, one about Iran's nostalgia of itself and the other about Lisette Model.
I just didn't like how there were so many Black and White pics. Of course there's not really a choice about it when colored pics weren't possible but I'm more interested in how color theory is touched upon...


For Halloween, the student council (?) organised a party on a wednesday night.
Coming in a costume would result in a free cocktail

My roommates and I decided to go. They came as Cosmo & Wanda from fairly oddparents and I wanted to drag for the first time.
Did you know that most Drag Queens did their first drag on Halloween ? Or, well, that's what I've heard
So I bought some stockings and a skirt, I yet again borrowed some clothes from Vanessa, I wore long fake nails and a bra stuffed with socks.
It was fun :) The green high heels ended up hurting me more than the normal ones but eh.

me :)

We arrived an hour late but no big deal
There were less people than last time but they were almost all from the school which is nice.

Clement was there, he shaved his head to look like Walter White lol.
He came to me to say hello and said I looked good and that he was half tempted ? to take me ?? to his bed ????

Anyway I think that was when Vanessa lied and said that Tom was looking after me so we went away
To be real, I think Clement was already a bit tipsy by then and even if the idea of a one night stand might be alluring to me (maybe idk)
I don't think I'm the kind of person that's actually into that ??? Idk but I want the real thing, the having a boyfriend deal, not just spending one moment with another body and call it a day.

Pierre and Romane were there ! Romane had been sick since last time so it was nice to see she's still alive.
I think I saw them kiss ? But maybe it was just a goodbye kiss and I just saw it in a weird angle
Ina was here too !! but we didn't get to talk much, My roommates and I being awkward people and stuff
Regardless, Tom, Celeste, Luca, Chimene, EVe, Louis, Louis2, Marion, one of the guys in the mini-golf project, other students in second year,... There were a lot of people I know there.
I, of course, didn't speak with them much

By around 22:30 Vanessa & Lola went home

I've talk with a person, one of which said I looked more myself with a skirt on during the previous party, about being not cis and how few we are, they've told me their name but I've forgotten by now, I'd have to ask them again.
Jasmine also came to me. That's when I learned her name. She said she liked how I danced last time.
"I danced freely" which is funny cuz', you know, heels.
But to her credit, I'm unbelievably well adjusted with it, I thought I would fall but no ? I guess it's because the heels aren't the width of a toothpick

Celeste was accompanied by someone who I think was also in drag ? Idk but they looked really cool And I really wanted to get to meet them.
That of course had to wait a few hours ahah, I didn't get the courage to go on my own and just stood there. Next to them two. With other classmates between us.

My feet were beginning to hurt so I wanted to go home, it was also almost midnight and I didn't feel like going home alone late in the night.
I went by and said goodbye to Tom, I don't remember what happened but I ended up staying with him.
He also, somehow, surely because my emotions are impossible to hide, realised I may be smitten by Celeste's friend. So I ended being directly sitting next to them, with Celeste on their other side.
Tom would look at me with a knowing look and it would be funny if I wasn't embarassed about it.

Anyway The person (who's name is Yolande) and I finally began talking
We talked about being gay, how it's my first drag, how we came to know about that stuff, they said they were proud of me for being myself and so on :)
Then they said they were going to do a photoshoot with Luca and Celeste at her place and I was welcome to join in !
Hell yeah

Uhhhh god what happened then ? I'm writing this a week later.

The photoshoot's theme was about one's sexuality I think so uhhh yeah.
It was fun to do to be fair, but thankfully at this point I didn't care about anything.
Yolande's pics of me were of my torso with me holding two objects. They said I positioned my hands in a nice way :)
Luca and Celeste are dope models too

We stayed up all night doing this so of course I was really exhausted when we had to go to class

Photography class

This class is really confusing me.
We have to make 10 pics for december with the theme "Illusions",

we begun in september yet we still haven't done half of it despite having to show 5 pics every week..
How is that possible ? Well most of us are just recycling old photos that more or less fit.

We just don't have the time for that (even if it doens't look hard to do) and we're not inspired to it.
Jerome showed in september some examples of what we could do but ehhhh.
It wasn't precise enough. 5 pics a week is too much, and that's comming from someone who had to show 20 Pics every month to another photography teacher for 2 years.
But she at least made it understandable to do and made more example throughout time than just once at the beginning.



sorry the site hasn't been updated in so long, I'm still alive !
I just barely have time to myself with school giving too much work
Also my computer died earlier this week, I paid myself a new one, five years savings of when I was a teen, gone ! But thankfully it's a great one, Vanessa has one like mine. I'm procrastinating my work to do for the oral exams

13/11/22 Paris with online friends

I'm on a twitch streamer's discord server and I've made some friends there.
So over the summer holidays we've talked about meeting up in Paris over 3 days? It's happened and I got to be there with them :D

First I had to get there and find a place to stay. Someone said they were going to use a bus company so I went with them. We also asked how many people wanted to go to a hotel, we were only 2, I wasn't alone so that's great.
Just that alone costed like 300 euros, I'm really nervous when it comes to (my) money so that was uhhhh, upsetting.
The trip on the bus went smoothly, I was too occupied to find an empty seat to search for the 2 people I was meeting, but they saw me just as I arrived lol Tey noticed my sunglasses and my mustache
On the first day we all 10 of us went to the Orsay Museum
And the Louvres' supposed to be even bigger ???!
anyway, we had a lot of fun together, we did an escape game (we won), we went to a karaoke, a gameboard cafe. we went to a few cafes. It was great. I met so many people I like and have known afor some time


So much has happened since last time I went here, I pretty much forgot everything :/
We looked around for a new place to stay next year already because we can't deal with the spiders anymore, and there's very little space for privacy
We found a new place, bigger than here but also farther away. We'll go there.

So the thing with photography class is well and done, in the end, I took a pic I made during my trip in Paris and drew on it

the pic

Jerome liked it and told me to do more things like that. He even told me I didn't need to use my own pics. Ahah guess how many pics I took after that ? None


Hi how are ? I know I know I'm not very active uhhh I wasn't feeling the mood to do anything beside staying in bed during the holydays, also my sleep couldn't be more fucked up with going to sleep at midday..

I'll soon have my exam week at school, some people have been preparing since last year for it (lol) but it's freaking me out, with me being sad, I didn't take the time to get shit done

The computer is doing great, the preinstalled antivirus' popups are annoying as I already put Avast but otherwise it's doing alright
I can finally play videogames Ahah yeaaaah
I got caught by the Steam-sales-hunters tho. But It's cool to finally be able to play with my friends

The minigolf is not over yet (UGH). We finished the second model and now have to make the real deal
I'm scared about that, we're five students per groups, two in mine changed school and the two other are barely here to begin with, so that means I'm the one who made most of the model, the logo of our pretend business and all our stencils that got exposed.
Jerome was satisfied with my pics so that's nice.
I passed my exam in my course. We had to showcase our works from september to december, I'll show what I've done one day in the gallery, there's already a sound there that I ended up not using as the teachers wer- oh god I had forgotten about that
Ok so
we have a schedule of which student is going to present their showcase, we have Three rooms for 18 of us. two rooms are on the ground floor and the third on the first floor, there's a guy on the first floor, then it's a girl's turn on the ground floor, then it's my turn on the first floor .
Students aren't allowed to be in the same place as the teachers when they're judging us. So when it was the guy's turn, I wasn't in my showcase, I knew it would go like that, when it was the girl's turn, I would have the time to make last minutes setups, wait for them and make an acting performance where I would make them leave the room as soon as they entered in a theatrical/overdone/overplayed/very awkward way
But then
They ask me if it's okay to have my turn before the girl's out of lazyness of going up & down a floor...
UGHHH I GUESS, I can't really say no, can I ?
So yeah that's how I ended up not showing the sound I made and making my acting in the end. As they were already leaving. They had to go back inside. So that I could make them leave.
Also they weren't too keen on two of the other things I made and skipped another (to be fair I skipped it too as I didn't like it), They gave me a note of 12/20 which is kinda rude tbh, a 14/20 would have been nice, I didn't ruin the living room's floor with paint and burned so many things for a score so low
Vanessa said that, for an art school, 12/20 is an ok score, so I guess there's that>

I don't think I've got an endearment for Clement anymore, he's got some anger issues, quite rude and I've heard he's been toxic with his ex. Soooo.. yeaah.
And for Yolande, them being an addict (according to Tom & Celeste) is kind of uhhhh not what I'm looking for, also I don't see them anymore since they have school too.
And Alessio is with someone now, I believe also Louis2, I don't think I'll ever be able to hold a conversation with Louis or Luca,
or anyone really.
uhhh mmh. yeah.
I hate being lonely.. The holidays can't be over too soon.
Ro has left the school, She and Pierre broke up, Pierre already found someone else though, I haven't seen Romane in months But her insta account is active.
Celeste hasn't come for the exams, or for the last few weeks lessons, I think Tom said she had depression ? I don't really remember him saying that but I think he did
Leïla is friend with Simon, they were scouts together, she said Simon would be in our course next year, I'm glad.
I've gotten to speak with other students, ones that aren't in my course, I'm glad I'm finally confident for that.
Vaneesa, Lola, Danaë & I made a meme account about our course on instagr, we're barely active.
We're not active at all in fact. but there are new people following us everyday which is confusing.

February Hi ! How are you ? I hope you're okay, love you :)
This month I got to see my discord friends again on two occasions ! that's really cool :D

Just two days before the first time I see them, I broke my phone, it slipped through my fingers while I was going up the stairs, so that's great.
I quickly went to get it repaired but the guys at the store said it would be better to just buy a new one. So I did that

There was this manga convention in my town, so two of my discord friends (Strau & Tay) that lives in my country asked me if I would like to join them. I was glad they thought of me and I said yes.
The day went nicely, I saw two IRL friends there and discovered some nice artists.

The very next week, one of the discord friends that lives in France (Max) said that they were on vacations from work and was going to enjoy it in Brussels, Belgium,
he asked if some other people and I would be in on it, mainly because it's the closer we would be to meet him, but also to have some fun !
So there were 6 of us: Me, Strau & Tay that I forgot to mention were also there when we were in Paris, Max, another french guy that was also there in the Paris episodet (Cree), and a woman that's from Namur who I haven't met yet either(Pic).
Just as I expected, they're all taller than me, I already knew for three of them, but Max is jokingly taller than every one, he's also surprised that I'm not as small as he thought lol
We were supposed to only be there for a weekend, but midway through it, Max proposed to extend the stay to a full week, that would have meant for me to skip some classes but it was fine, we all went for it.
on the first day, we went to a jazz club that Pic said was nice. It was really nice, we had fun listening to the singer; she would often say "come on sing with me !" and have the catchiest songs ever. Here's one of them

She's so lovely ! After the show we went to buy some albums from her and she mentionned that she notticed us having fun, to be fair we were right next to her and kind of loud in a not so big place.
the drinks were lovely too We did break a glass, so the pic is perfect
I had my very first Starbucks, I wanted something with coffee, so I asked for a frappuccino and was surpriced with a cold beverage, I did an oopsie lol
Pic kept asking me if I actually wanted a hot coffee instead but I said no, not wanting her to pay for me, BECAUSE SHE PAID OUR TAB IN THE JAZZ NIGHT WHILE WE WERE BUYING THE ALBUMS FOIEQGHOSRLDIHGSRHGO


I wasn't really worried about skipping classes, we didn't (we weren't supposed to) have school monday and tuesday, I would just be skipping 3 days.
Since Max was supposed to be in Brussels only for two days, he only rented a place for two days, so on monday we went to Strau's place, Pic went back to her place, we would see her on thursday.
Just before that, I quickly went back home to grab a week's worth of clothes.
The rest of the week went nice, the couple showed us their town, we did some shopping, played some games. We played some DND, I kept rolling nat 1s lol.
At some point we went grocery shopping, we were on the bus, it hit the brake and I felt myself falling backward, I went to grab something, and BOY did I grab something alright, I grabbed the Max's private place RSGOGHSJHPSROJHRS

Unfortunately we had to cut the trip short, Pic got sick and we didn't want to bother her too much, so we went home on thursday morning. I went to school thursday afternoon
I find it funny that every time I want to skip school, I end up NOT skip it for as long as planned ahah

I had a fun stay, but at school, the results of our exams were displayed. I failed one of the exams, Only one is good to be fair, but it still hurt my ego.

Independently, Vanessa and me are thinking of changing courses, we realised we're not really getting some education, we're just given tasks to do without really getting help to do it, so we're thinking of going to the sculpture course instead because there at least the teachers are actually teaching.

For one of our works, we had to take pictures of ourself under different kind of shots (american shot, full shot, close-up,..), I was with Lola and Tom.
Tom had the idea of making a fake wedding, making it look like Lola and him were getting married until the last shot would reveal it's actually him and me.

I'm totally normal about this situation





I hope his girlfriend don't mind it.
ok lol funny ahah, but really I don't think his girlfriend minds, I saw her some days after and she didn't seem bothered, when we said goodbye we said "big kisses". it sounds weird and on the nose in english but I swear it's a regular saying to just saying goodbye.
well anyway I repeated "big kisses" with some more intend as a joke and she said "hey" in a ahah funny way, so I know she knows.

To also said that I have fluffy lips



My brother broke up with his GF, they were together for almost 9 years and had just gotten their own house. So we're off to a great start

School: The minigolf is soon to be over, we're supposed to be finished in two weeks, for the open day, I can't wait for it to be over. Now we have to make some merchandise with Max & Oli, but they don't like our ideas, since our theme is tarology, we wanted to design our own set of Major Arcana cards (?), they were fine with, but now we still have yet to actually design them. Because we can only work a day per week, and either the teachers aren't here, or my classmates aren't.

We went to see a contemporory dance group upon Karine request with every student in my course, the dancers are from south of France and would alternate between dancing in slow-mo or quickly

It's them

It was cool

so out of 13 students at the start of the year, There are 9 left, Ina, Romane are gone, Kenzo changed in another course, he wasn't annoying anymore so that's sad.
Tom is stopping, like he's told us last week that he couln't pay the rent so he stopped school for a job.
Vanessa, Leïla, Danaë and Lola are going into another course next year.
So Marion, Lucas, Alessio, Noémie & I are left in the first year, to be second year in this course
Well, I don't know if I'm staying here, Vanessa is changing 'cuz she doesn't like what we're doing in class and I can get behind that.
It's just that we're not really working in class, we have homework and a lot of freetime at school,
But I'm not paying rent and school fees to do nothing in class and rush everything when I get home, so I'm thinking of changing too

Danaë & Lola are starting to get on our nerves, Vanessa and I have gotten close to Leïla because of that, she's just as bitchy as us. Danaë and Lola don't seem to understand that seeing them everyday can get annoying, especially if one of them is our roommate, Vanessa is my roommate too, but we have fun together, we don't stay in our bedroom doing god knows what and get upset when we tell her something...

omg pals you won't believe what happened just a few hours earlier:
Firstly: So some months ago, We searched for a new appartment for next year, being already sick of ours right now. The appartment is quite far from the school but it's the only thing with 3 bedromms we would find. Vanessa & I had given some money to the owner to be sure we would have a spot there, Lola, just after having given the money, tells us she won't be coming.
About three weeks ago, Lola tells me that she has send an email to the owner to see if she can come after all, she has yet to tell that to Vanessa but I already have.
We're fuming inside because we've realised that Lola, just, isn't made for a life with people other than her parents, she can't too anything, she never cooks her own meals, she never cleans, doen't take the trash, always moody and so on,.. We're friends but at some point she has to do something. We don't want to have her AS A ROOMMATE again, we still like her, but not as someone to live with.
Secondly: So Lola has taken a tendency to steal the thermostat in the evening since new year, mind you that she's the only one using it, it's getting warmer already, and Vanessa & I just use blankets when we're cold, we KNOW Lola has thicker blankets than us.
Since last week, she's been setting the temperature to 23°C (73°F), which is, too much, hell even 21°C is too much, the house gets hot quickly, and she changes it for the night, when it's the most useless since we're sleeping. Even set to 17°C the house is warm enough and show it's 20° inside. We're in a time when having warm temperatures costs a lot, and the 3 of us has to pay for what she's doing.
So this evening Vanessa took the thermostat and puts it in her bedroom, just like how Lola does. Lola knocks on her door and asks why she took it, gets angry after two sentences and slam her bedroom door. She got that angry over a thermostat..
15 minutes after that, Vanessa and I had decided that that was just too much, we needed to have a talk with her.
Yeah right, We could barely say that we could not be able to stay together again next that she gets angry again and locks herself in her room...
I can't wait to see her tell everyone what happened tommorow at school

I saw Strau again, back in January when he and Tay came in town and we played some escape box (like an escape room but it's a box), the owner of the box told us that if we were the fastest to solve the puzzles, we could play a real escape box for free.
We won, so Strau & I decided to play it at his place, and I would also stay the night there. Tay couldn't be there, she lives in south of France and had already returned there.
We had fun, I introduced him to Ru Paul's Drag Race, we watched the Belgium edition since it's coming out right now and that where we are, He likes it.
We then talked until 2am, despite saying that we should go back to bed ahah.
Yeah that was nice.. I may have a fling for him (if that's how the saying goes) idk, he's really nice and I haven't talked so much with someone before, I quickly run out of things to say in a conversation, but it went fine with him. He's also one of the few people I look forward to see since 2023 has started, so much is happening and it's all negative. I'm tired of it. My online friends bring me peace I guess
Pic has asked Strau and I if we wanted to meet again so that we could eat at a restaurant together. We said Yes, but we still don't know where to go: Her town ? His ? Mine ? We need an answer in 4 days so ahah, no biggies